Going without clothes on...

Suddenly, my blog has taken a turn south. I know that I'm often posting about conversations with my kids, but really, sometimes they just freakin' crack me up! Around 8:30 tonight I had the kids loaded in the van & we were driving Brent's buddy home. A song from the 80's was on the radio & the buddy says "hey, this song's from the Chick*n Little movie" and I said "Ooooh, I love this song....I'd sing it, but that would embarrass Brent. Hey Brent, you mind if I sing?" Brent then says "Please don't. Yeah, my mom says that she's going to come to my school without any clothes on to embarrass me." ** (those are my bug eyes) Holy shit - what did he just say! "What?" I said. Brent says "yeah, remember when we were in Targ*t and you said you were going to come to my school naked and emabarrass me?" OK, back the truck up big guy - I know where this came from....

We were in Targ*t and the kids were acting like a butt heads (I know, mature) and I give them the knock-it-off look and instead of cooling off, he dug his heels in even further and started getting mouthy. I then respond with "fine, you want to bring attention to us and embarrass me, well then, I'll show up in your school in my bath robe and slippers and show you how it feels to get unwanted attention." Maybe not my finest moment, but he got the point and cooperated. But no need to worry, I got such great deals at Targ*t that I'll be able to pay for his therapy bills later. :0)

Thankfully, I've known Brent's buddy's mom since we were kids - so there's no worries about what rumors will be started about my freaky self from the van conversation. His mom & I had a pee-yourself laugh in her driveway when I dropped him off.

Just to warn parents out there....watch what you say - it's like pass it down the lane with kids - you never know when (or how) things will get repeated. Gotta love 'em.

**oh yeah, I did ask Brent to not repeat the story again like that - it could warrant a visit from Childr*n and Family Services.

Who do me match?

I know the post title isn't proper grammer, but, it's the question my little lady has been asking me lately. All. The. Time. I'm thinking her recent curiosity is stemmed from the fact that everyone who knows my husband comments on how much my little man looks like him. Who would have thought that such a little girl, just shy of three, would pick up on this. But, she hears EVERYTHING.

The conversation goes like this:

Allie: Mommy, who do me match?
Me: What honey?
Allie: Mommy, what color are Brent's eyes?
Me: Blue.
Allie: What color are Daddy's eyes?
Me: Blue.
Allie: What color are your eyes?
Me: Blue.
Allie: What color are my eyes?
Me: Brown.
Allie: NO! My eyes are blue too.
Me: You have beautiful brown eyes.
Allie: NO! My eyes are blue like yours!
Me: You want your eyes to look blue too?
Allie: Yes. (she says with a sad pouty face)
Me: Well guess what? Your hair is brown AND my hair is brown!
Allie: YEAH! WE MATCH! (She then gets so excited to hear more)
Me: Yes, and you are a girl and I am a girl.
Allie: YEAH! WE MATCH AGAIN!
Me: And your middle name is Marie and my middle name is Marie.
Allie: YEAH! WE MATCH! (She then gives me the biggest bear hug)

I seriously have considered calling my eye doctor and ordering brown contact lenses. But, I'm not going to. It makes my heart ache to know that Allie is trying to find out who she "matches" - I just always want her to know that she matches us perfectly.

Where the hell is that wand when I need it?

My little man lost his 8th tooth two nights ago while sleeping. So, once again, I had to strap on my wings (black cat burgular suit) and play tooth fairy since the hubster was working. I do not enjoy being the fairy. Yes, I LOVE childhood magic and LOVE the excitement of my little man proudly showing off his cash left under his pillow, but a fairy I am not.

Here's my list of why this job causes me such angst:
1. I always fear that I'll forget and fall asleep (and yes, I have once...try to get out of that one)
2. the act of quietly sneaking into the kid's room, avoiding all squeaky floor spots is not easy
3. trying to not step on anything in the dark...unexpected kids toys under foot hurts like hell
4. keeping the nosey-heavy-breathing dogs away from the kids pillow is a real trick..since they now think it's time to wake the little one and play
5. fishing for the tooth under the sleeping kid's pillow, pulling it out quietly and gently, as you avoid taking a breath....and that damn tooth never seems to be near the edge of the pillow either
6. sliding the crinkly bill under the pillow of sleeping kid's pillow...somehow the dollar bill is much lounder when you're trying to be quiet
7. the fear of waking the child and spoiling this childhood tradition is a lot of pressure
8. I suffer from insonmia and the adrenaline rush of sneaking in the kid's room and accomplishing the above list guarantees me a restless night

Again, I enjoy childhood traditions and magic, but I wish that when tooth #1 was lost we found our own place to leave the tooth. I should have made some contraption that hangs on his bedpost or better yet, the door knob to his bedroom - something that can be opened quietly and is easily accessible. But, I can't change the rules now. You better believe than when the little lady starts losing teeth - she'll have that contraption and I'll sleep much better. Cause you know, it's all about me. Just kidding!

BTW, here's my advice to anyone who hasn't played fairy: when your kid's tooth seems really wiggly, be sure to have the proper denomination of cash available because surely the neighbor wouldn't appreciate being asked to break a twenty at midnight. Why do I say this? Well, my guy just got a 5 dollar bill for his tooth. I guess I could have left four quarters, but I'd rather pay big than deal with the stress of rattling change. Guess how much do you think he'll expect next time? Yep, $5. Oh well, such is life.