AHHHHHHHH

Thank God! Finally Spring is here & we are able to hang outdoors and get fresh air. As much as I love the change of seasons, I sure do look forward to Spring. Winter can be fun, but I'm never sad when it's over - not to mention happy that I won't see another propane heating bill again for 8 months (Ouch!). The kidlets were so excited to play outside (without being bundled in 17 layers of clothing). Of course I managed to take some pictures of them playing on the swingset.

Never a dull moment

Sometimes I swear my kids have battery packs hidden somewhere. They just never stop. The cruel irony is that they are overflowing with energy and I, who takes care of these two jumping beans, should have some of it. Anyway, here a few pictures of my chaos. (My son loves his magic hat & wand - but wants a "real wand" for his birthday.....I'd like one too.)

Waiting for hope

Adoption1
Video sent by ludo

This is a great video worth watching. I have seen this before, but it was just recently posted on a message board & I clicked on the link wanting to see it again. It has a a much stronger impact on me now that Allison is home. I see my daughter in the eyes of these kids. My heart aches. It is painful to watch, but necessary for me not to ignore it. Before Allison came home we sent a care package through Blessedkids to her SWI. The package had a disposable camera & the nannies used it to take pictures of her and her friends while she was waiting to come home. As precious as these photos are to me, I hate to look at them. Even though her SWI was fairly decent (for orphanage standards), she looked so lonely and lost - not the bright-eyed, pleasant, loving, gentle-spirited girl that I know and love. That's how I feel when watching this video - these aren't just anonymous faces anymore to me - I see my daughter and the other amazing Chinese children that I know - full of joy & sweetness, having so much to live for and so much to offer this world. I pray that these beautiful children get matched with families and get the love that they desperately deserve.

Serious conversation with a 6 year old

When I was four my biological father took off. The 'out to buy milk & never came back' story was our story. This happened in 1972, prior to any child support laws or easy way of tracing him. My mom had to work many jobs to support three kids until she met my step father in 1982 - married in 1983. Anyway, last night Brent starts chatting about last names & asked how come my name before I married wasn't the same as Mom-Mom & Poppy's. "Oh boy" I thought, how do I explain this. Here's the rest of the conversation:

Me: "You know how Allison had a mommy before me?"
Brent: "Yeah, she had a China mommy."
Me: "Yes, she had a China mommy. Well, I had a daddy before Poppy. He was sick and couldn't be a good dad, so we never saw him again."
Brent: "Is he dead?"
Me: "No, he's not dead?"
Brent: "So, he's not in heaven with Daddy's mom & dad?"
Me: "No, he's not in heaven. I don't know where he lives?"
Brent: "Why was he sick?"
Me: "Well, he was sick in his head?"
Brent: "Like a headache? Did he need Tylenol?"
Me: "He didn't need Tylenol. He was a little crazy. He took drugs, remember how your school talked to you about not taking drugs? My first dad took the drugs and it made his brain sick - he didn't act normal & people call that crazy."
Brent: "OK."
Me: "If you have any questions about him, please don't be afraid to ask. And, I don't want you to worry about me or Daddy taking drugs or leaving and not coming back. That's not normal and we wouldn't do that. I don't want you to be confused or to worry."
Brent: "I'm not confused. I understand. Your first dad ate bugs and acted like a chicken."
Me: "Huh? Ate bugs? Acted like a chicken?"
Brent: "Yeah, your dad ate bugs and then he acted like a chicken - and that's crazy."
Me: "Yeah, something like that."
Brent: "Wanna see me act like a chicken?" Up from the dinner table he jumped and clucked his heart out. (How sweet is the innocence of a six year old.)

(we'll talk more about saying no to drugs, bugs and slugs later...)