Where the hell is that wand when I need it?

My little man lost his 8th tooth two nights ago while sleeping. So, once again, I had to strap on my wings (black cat burgular suit) and play tooth fairy since the hubster was working. I do not enjoy being the fairy. Yes, I LOVE childhood magic and LOVE the excitement of my little man proudly showing off his cash left under his pillow, but a fairy I am not.

Here's my list of why this job causes me such angst:
1. I always fear that I'll forget and fall asleep (and yes, I have once...try to get out of that one)
2. the act of quietly sneaking into the kid's room, avoiding all squeaky floor spots is not easy
3. trying to not step on anything in the dark...unexpected kids toys under foot hurts like hell
4. keeping the nosey-heavy-breathing dogs away from the kids pillow is a real trick..since they now think it's time to wake the little one and play
5. fishing for the tooth under the sleeping kid's pillow, pulling it out quietly and gently, as you avoid taking a breath....and that damn tooth never seems to be near the edge of the pillow either
6. sliding the crinkly bill under the pillow of sleeping kid's pillow...somehow the dollar bill is much lounder when you're trying to be quiet
7. the fear of waking the child and spoiling this childhood tradition is a lot of pressure
8. I suffer from insonmia and the adrenaline rush of sneaking in the kid's room and accomplishing the above list guarantees me a restless night

Again, I enjoy childhood traditions and magic, but I wish that when tooth #1 was lost we found our own place to leave the tooth. I should have made some contraption that hangs on his bedpost or better yet, the door knob to his bedroom - something that can be opened quietly and is easily accessible. But, I can't change the rules now. You better believe than when the little lady starts losing teeth - she'll have that contraption and I'll sleep much better. Cause you know, it's all about me. Just kidding!

BTW, here's my advice to anyone who hasn't played fairy: when your kid's tooth seems really wiggly, be sure to have the proper denomination of cash available because surely the neighbor wouldn't appreciate being asked to break a twenty at midnight. Why do I say this? Well, my guy just got a 5 dollar bill for his tooth. I guess I could have left four quarters, but I'd rather pay big than deal with the stress of rattling change. Guess how much do you think he'll expect next time? Yep, $5. Oh well, such is life.