Is it mean to say that my husband makes a lousy wife? Let me back up & explain...
Our humble homestead has experienced many role shifts in the past three years - me being a SAHM to part-time student to full-time student, to full-time employee and the latest is my hubby being a SAHD since June 25th. While attending my nursing school car pool buddy and dear friend's graduation party, Scott went to spike a volleyball and blew out his knee (no, that's not the real medical term, but the status of his meniscus isn't the point of my post).
Onto the role changes. As I have been enduring the brutality of nursing orientation and realizing how much I still have to learn, the hubster has been holding down the fort (loosely, I might add) as he is nursing his knee. Scott has taken over the duties of caring for the kiddoes during the day, preparing meals, food shopping, laundry & other household chores. It has been trying to say the least. Here's the top 10 things that I've learned about Scott's SAHD skills:
1. He takes spends way too much time on the internet looking for recipes to cook for dinner, that require odd ingredients & he ends up making daily trips to the market. (we've been working on weekly meal planning & gathering all ingredients - now there's a concept, huh?)
2. He has not a lick of fashion sense (although this isn't a new discovery) and dresses the kids in outfits that could precipitate a seizure.
**a brief description of one of Allison's fashion misadventures is below.3. It is not unlikely that when I would get home kids are still sporting PJ's - and yep, they had been out riding bikes or playing in the yard dressed like that.
4. Bologna and potato chips is an OK lunch in his book. What? Nutrition? Nope, doesn't even cross his mind. And as mentioned before, he's taken over the marketing - processed crap ends up in our fridge & pantry.
5. He has bought a Swiff*r rinky dink mop thingy & thinks that's the only tool necessary to keep a house clean.
6. My kids have watched waaaaaay toooo much television and know the names of the hosts for the following television shows: Dirty J0bs, Dead*liest Catch and Ca$h Cab - all of which my husband watches with addiction.
7. He gets cranky often because he's bored with the mundane chores of being a SAHD.
8. He has learned to nag about things like the kids leaving dirty clothes on the floor. (Only certain times of the month. I think maybe he has developed a case of PMS.)
9. He has become fluent with text messaging me at work with things such as "Do your blue scrub pants go in the dryer?" Oiy. Can't you see the urgency in that unanswered dilemma? No, seriously, I don't mind, it just shows me how bored he is.
10. And last but NOT AT ALL least, his ass needs to get back to work!
**An example of my daughter's fashion misadventure: I came home the other day to find Allie wearing a dress that she outgrew (on BACKWARDS) with a skirt, water shoes as her footwear and underneath of the lovely ensemble, her waist was through a leg hole of her underwear. Lord help me, she went to the market & library like that. All she was missing were the snow boots, red juice mustache and mullet.Yep, the minute Scott goes back to work, I'm asking to be cut back to part time - if not, my kids will be scarred for life.
In Scott's defense, he is a hard worker, good provider & decent guy - he's just a lousy wife.
