Spilling my coffee/beans...

Wow, it's been a long time

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:59:00 +0000

Wow- it's been a long time since I've posted. Guess I haven't had any thoughts worth sharing since last March. That, or I just haven't had the time (or desire) to sit and type about them.

Anyhoo, a few big post-worthy things going on here. At least I think so. Firstly, we got a puppy. That makes three dogs. Doesn't that qualify us as a farmette or something? Petting zoo? Sure feels like it. Our new addition is a poma-poo. Another 'designer breed' for us 'designer' folks. His name is Mickey and he came from a local no-kill shelter & what a sweetie he is. Now if he would just stop peeing and JUMPING THE FENCE. Little bugger. He isn't much taller than my ankle, but can bounce like a kangaroo and up over the fence he goes. No worries, he now gets tethered to a dog stake in the ground. Enough trying to find a black dog in a neighborhood without street lights. Good times.

Secondly, the middle dog, Henry, our goldend00dle knocked me down the stairs a few weeks ago and I landed on my back with a lumbar sprain. Nothing like lumbar spasms to put you out. I have a new respect for those with chr0nic back pain. Not fun. At all. The heating pad is my friend. And I now think out jetted tub was the best purchase we ever made. I'm on the mend and I'm a mom, gotta suck it up and move on. Besides, my sweet (ahem) son told me I was "lounging around and telling everyone what to do" - gotta love that. Yep, he got an earful for that one.

And lastly, and most importantly, I HAD THE TALK. What talk you ask? THE TALK. I did it. I dreaded it. Like contemplated a few drinks before doing it, dreaded it. But I did it (without alcohol too).

I posted about a book a few years ago but have had it tucked away above the refrigerator since then because he (I) wasn't ready. Well, two weeks ago when we had a quiet afternoon (hubby occupied the little lady) we sat down with the book. I broke the book into sections and read it over several 'sessions'. Before each discussion I reiterated the importance of him NOT sharing the information discussed with other kids, as it is their parents decision when to discuss it with them. I made him repeat it too. Oh Lord, I hope he listened.

I highly recommend a book for the discussion, if for nothing else, to avoid eye contact. Seriously. I'm a nurse and was anxious about talking about erecti0ns. The book covered everything from what happens to girls and boys bodies during puberty (and EVERYTHING that goes along with that), anatomical pictures, S T diseases, family values, adoption and reinforces what "good and bad touch" means. Certainly covered more than I would have thought to talk about. There were two cartoon characters, a bird & bee of course, who started the book and commented throughout and my son chose to be their voice and it kept the discussion silly - which was much needed. Mostly for me. My son enjoyed learning about the 'facts' and even thanked me. Yep, you read that right. My 10-year-old THANKED ME. A miracle I say.

Now that we finished our discussions we have told the little man that if he has ANY questions and is embarrassed to ask to write it down and stick it in an envelope for us and we will respond in writing - assuming he wouldn't want to talk about it.

Whew!. It's over. That's all I can say about the talk. One down and one to go (a few years away thankfully). The second time around can't be as bad as the first. Right?

...Just in case you've wondered why my hubby didn't have 'the talk' with the boy - well, he believes he can learn about the facts of life from his friends like he did. So tag, I'm it.

...FYI, it was NO WHERE as bad as I had anticipated. I HIGHLY recommend a book with comics. Or alcohol. Whichever works.

Lessons from jumping rope

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:12:00 +0000

Learning life lessons from our children is one of the blessings of parenthood - but you need to be paying attention to get the message. I wanted to share one here. For Christmas our little lady got a jump rope in her stocking which she used as a belt or tied it to things to pull around. A few weeks ago she decided to use it for its intention - jumping.

Day after day after day she practiced. We watched give it her all as she hook it around her ponytail, her neck, her legs, kitchen chairs, toys, the dogs or whatever was in her way as she tried to jump the rope. We would cheer her on, but at times it was painful to watch her lack of progress, knowing how hard she was working. However one day as I was REALLY paying attention to what she was doing, I noticed how happy she was to just be trying. A smile of pure joy was on her face and she was having FUN. Yep, she was having fun as she tried. I know this isn't a new concept - but sometimes I need a reminder and If I wasn't paying attention I would have missed it - the lesson - it's not about conquering something new, it's about remembering to enjoy the whole process, stumbling and all.

If I never again, I'll be better for it...

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:38:00 +0000

Yesterday we had my sister J's intervention. Not something that I ever want to do again - I'm not a fan of confrontation. No professional was contacted, but we did do our homework on how to host (sounds like a party) an intervention - from the ambush, letters, expectations, immediate treatment options and consequences. The big consequence if she didn't accept our help was legal action to get K out of her care.

J seemed relieved and she agreed to all our our expectations. As of today, she has made the first steps to getting well. She is at my parent's home now with K and no access to, well, anywhere without supervision since she is sans vehicle and license.

Oh yeah, and of course crack-head-good-for-nothing boyfriend (K's dad) has been calling and bullying J since she was the only paycheck between the two of them. He has said that we have "brainwashed her" and that she "has left him to die alone in the hotel." Yep, that was our goal (sarcasm here).

Keeping my fingers crossed.

First day of preschool

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 14:28:00 +0000

OK, the last two posts were a little negative, so I needed to post something positive. The title of the 'Saint I am not' post has a little story behind it that I'll be sure to share later - it has to do with my mother & her praying the finish off of her rosary beads.

After a zoo-of-a morning getting pony tails in, hunting for lost shoes, shoveling in breakfast, teeth brushing and picture taking.... Miss K had her first day of preschool. I've provided a little glimpse of the munchkin with her pigtails. Boy, was she squealing with excitement. My other sister, K, went out yesterday & bought my neice, K, new shoes, clothes and winter coat for her first day of school (in the picture, K was stomping her feet so she could see her new sneakers light up - sweet).

**Off topic: my Mom, step-Dad, sister and I will be having a little intervention with J this weekend. The cards will be placed on the table with what we are willing to help her out with - of course, her drug problem will be addressed. If she doesn't acquiesce, we will step in legally on K's behalf. Scott will be taking the kids out for the sh!t-hitting-the-fan party.

A saint I am not

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:12:00 +0000

Since K has been here my patience has been tried a hundred times over. Every day has been a challenge. Juggling two toddlers a 9 yr old, with activities, homework, work schedules and everything else that comes along with parenting, I'm exhausted. I had no idea that one extra child would kick my arse. By time the kids go to bed, I'm nearly dragging myself to my bed & flopping, often without even changing clothes (I'm lucky to brush my teeth). My kids are also showing signs of emotional wear from K's neediness - I'm reminding them daily to stop parenting her.

Probably my greatest challenge has been having to control my feelings about my sister. J cleans houses and gets there by walking from the seedy hotel each morning to get a ride from a coworker. She calls my house daily from the people's homes where she is cleaning. (!!!!!) Seriously - what is beneath my sister? Back to my frustration. I keep composure with J because she can be impulsive and spiteful with little care of anyone, so I tread those waters lightly not wanting her to say, I'm (pestering someone for a ride) coming up there & getting my daughter. If it were to come down to that we would have to get Children & Family Services involved, get an attorney & Lord knows what headaches that would entail.

So, I bite my tongue when I have to buy K socks, pajamas, clothes, toothbrush because she doesn't have any. I bite my tongue when I helped K out of the van a few days ago and she says "Cops are nice, they help me out of the car...Cops are nice...they took my mommy's car...daddy went to jail" or when we're in the car playing a kid's CD & K says my favorite song is W0manizer by Spit-in-me Beers (get it?). Not to mention the umpteen times she has said "Shut up....This sucks...You're stupid" or any other lovely words that fly out. I cringe. I act as if all is well when dingbat J calls even though I feel like chewing her a new one.

And lastly, evidence to prove I'm no saint. If you asked me if I cared about what people think of me, I'd answer 'No'. However, that statement isn't all true, because many times this week, I have been embarrassed by K's actions in public. I know this is terrible to think this way about an innocent little girl (as I said, I'm no saint), but it's true. Example: while waiting for my son to finish his guitar lesson last night, K was lying on the floor, taking off her shoes & socks, sticking out her tongue at me, jumping off the steps (that has a bold sign above that says 'Keep children off the steps') as she was telling me to "shut up" and squealing as she ran from me, I wanted to say aloud "come on honey, let's call your mommy" just so those watching our dysfunctional circus would know that I'm not her mom. And by the way, I had my daughter at the dr's yesterday and she acted the same way and even the pediatrician stepped in & corrected her. A loooooong day.

I feel frustrated, and guilty because I feel that way. I feel horrible because I say 'No' to K so many times throughout the day. I try to redirect, but I'm not very successful at that. I could use a drink, and I'm not much of a drinker. Maybe just an afternoon away and a pedicure would suffice.

Note: Next week's activities K will be going to my mom's.

And one more makes THREE....

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 16:40:00 +0000

Wow, where to begin? My sister, J, is a mess. Serious mess. J is the mother of four kids, three by her husband, who she divorced 6 yrs ago & one by the drug-addicted boyfriend, M, who she was sleeping around with while she was still married. Get all that? Like I said, she's a mess. Thankfully she left her three children with her husband who is a hard worker and dedicated dad - she had never been in any shape to care for her kids - she also is a drug addict. That leaves K, my sister (and M's) 3 yr old daughter.

Over the last 6.5 yrs since J left her husband & three older kids, she has bounced from one apartment to another, one job to another and is always finding herself in a bind, asking my parents for cash, rides, food or whatever. She and M do not have driver's licenses (both revoked) or a car - due to lifestyle and choices. As of last summer J, M & K have been living in a one bedroom apartment with 'friends' who are fellow drug users & heavy drinkers. Then in December, J calls my mom & tells her she is sleeping on someone's couch and that she & K needed somewhere to go. My mom picked them up, provided them with food & clothes and offered them a place to live. All is well right? Nope, see there's still t he drugs. J & K didn't stay there long.

For the past two weeks J, M & K have been living in a seedy motel room with another 'friend' - one room, one bed and three drug-addicted adults and a three year old girl. Not good. So last week, after several sleepless nights, Scott & I decided to track J down and offer for K to stay with us until she gets her life in order. Which could be three months or never. She willingly agreed - she seemed relieved that she didn't have to deal with the responsibilities of a child anymore.

Needless to say, because of J's lifestyle, we don't have a close relationship - which means we have had to really get to know K since they moved in with my mom & over the past few days. Sadly, the neglect is really evident in her lack of social skills & poor diet. We are having the battle of wills to allow her to exist on milk & buttered noodles or candy.

Our little man is feeling bombarded with little girls & we've allowed him to have his boundaries & space (girl free) and he seems satisfied with that. Our little lady is having fun with a constant friend (who is learning how to interact & enjoying it), but will sometimes turn to me & ask when K is going home. We're trying to keep the kids busy, so K gets caught up in the fun & then gets worn out for a good nights rest - she seems to be OK that she is here with a bed to sleep in & toys to play with. So damn sad.

What a flipping saga. This seems like a good place to vent & surely they'll be much more venting ahead, and hopefully good stories of progress too.

Drugs suck.

Mock elections gone bad

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:31:00 +0000

You know how many schools hold 'mock elections' for kids to participate in? Well, that's all well & good...great even, to teach kids to learn about and to get involved with the election process. But there's more to the election process and political parties than casting a ballot & those lessons are just as important, if not more so. My nephew, who is in 5th grade, had a mock election and when three kids who voted for the 'other candidate' heard who he voted for, they beat him up. CRAZY. This makes me sad for so many reasons. I hope that his school takes this unfortunate situation and turn it into an opportunity to teach about civility.

Election Day

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:36:00 +0000

Well, the big day is here. Although I have my opinion on who I'd like to see in the big seat, I am almost more excited about the elections being over than seeing my choice of candidate win. Is that bad? Honestly, I appreciate the political process, glad that we have such a thing, but I've just had enough. Enough robo-calling, enough commercials, enough information overload, enough political divide in our country and of course, enough bashing. Good grief, enough is enough. I will not lose a night's sleep over who wins, I will trust in the process and hope that our country moves in a good direction over the next four (+) years.

Shortly, I will drive to our local polls, cast my ballot and move along. Done. Yippee!

Funny election story...
We are fortunate that we do not have long lines at our local polls, that's a plus of country living, I guess. So, with that said, we have always taken our kid(s) with us when we have voted, whether it's local elections, the primaries or the big ones. When our little man was in preschool we had just finished voting & a person working the polls asked Brent if he voted, his reply "Yep, we want George Washington to be president." Needless to say, he got laughs all around. Followed by several "Me too" and "He's a good choice" comments. So cute.

Couldn't say it better myself

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:16:00 +0000

This man is probably the only Republican I would consider voting for if he were to run for President - I trust this man's level headed judgement and experience, making me feel even more confident in my choice this election.

Sugar, Sugar, Sugar

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 13:01:00 +0000

Mmmmm sugar, it kept these trick-or-treaters buzzing for hours last night until they crashed. Hard.
The little man was an evil ninja warrior guy (?) and the little lady was a flapper (last minute we realized that the headband was too small for her squash, so she sported a tiara instead - guess that made her queen flapper).

(I ate my share of sweets as I doled it out last night - note to self...hit the treadmill today)

Send prayers, good thoughts and LOVE...

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:29:00 +0000

Several years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Stephanie through our adoption blogs, then in person and have since become friends. She is a wonderful wife and mother, she is creative, she is an amazing cook, she has a great sense of humor, she is a good friend, she is an amazing woman and she has breast cancer. Stephanie is sharing her journey to beat this beast on her blog C is not for Cookie where her strength and honesty is awe inspiring and will make you cry. Tomorrow, Stephanie is going in for yet another surgery, so if you get the chance, drop over and send her some prayers, good thoughts and LOVE.

FUNNIEST CLIP EVER

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 15:41:00 +0000

It doesn't matter which side of the political table you sit, this video is hilarious. Side-splittingly funny. You know the saying, 'there's much truth in comedy'. That's what makes it funny, right? I'm warning you, pee first then click HERE. Gotta love SNL!

Scott is a lousy wife

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:28:00 +0000

Is it mean to say that my husband makes a lousy wife? Let me back up & explain...
Our humble homestead has experienced many role shifts in the past three years - me being a SAHM to part-time student to full-time student, to full-time employee and the latest is my hubby being a SAHD since June 25th. While attending my nursing school car pool buddy and dear friend's graduation party, Scott went to spike a volleyball and blew out his knee (no, that's not the real medical term, but the status of his meniscus isn't the point of my post).

Onto the role changes. As I have been enduring the brutality of nursing orientation and realizing how much I still have to learn, the hubster has been holding down the fort (loosely, I might add) as he is nursing his knee. Scott has taken over the duties of caring for the kiddoes during the day, preparing meals, food shopping, laundry & other household chores. It has been trying to say the least. Here's the top 10 things that I've learned about Scott's SAHD skills:

1. He takes spends way too much time on the internet looking for recipes to cook for dinner, that require odd ingredients & he ends up making daily trips to the market. (we've been working on weekly meal planning & gathering all ingredients - now there's a concept, huh?)

2. He has not a lick of fashion sense (although this isn't a new discovery) and dresses the kids in outfits that could precipitate a seizure. **a brief description of one of Allison's fashion misadventures is below.

3. It is not unlikely that when I would get home kids are still sporting PJ's - and yep, they had been out riding bikes or playing in the yard dressed like that.

4. Bologna and potato chips is an OK lunch in his book. What? Nutrition? Nope, doesn't even cross his mind. And as mentioned before, he's taken over the marketing - processed crap ends up in our fridge & pantry.

5. He has bought a Swiff*r rinky dink mop thingy & thinks that's the only tool necessary to keep a house clean.

6. My kids have watched waaaaaay toooo much television and know the names of the hosts for the following television shows: Dirty J0bs, Dead*liest Catch and Ca$h Cab - all of which my husband watches with addiction.

7. He gets cranky often because he's bored with the mundane chores of being a SAHD.

8. He has learned to nag about things like the kids leaving dirty clothes on the floor. (Only certain times of the month. I think maybe he has developed a case of PMS.)

9. He has become fluent with text messaging me at work with things such as "Do your blue scrub pants go in the dryer?" Oiy. Can't you see the urgency in that unanswered dilemma? No, seriously, I don't mind, it just shows me how bored he is.

10. And last but NOT AT ALL least, his ass needs to get back to work!

**An example of my daughter's fashion misadventure: I came home the other day to find Allie wearing a dress that she outgrew (on BACKWARDS) with a skirt, water shoes as her footwear and underneath of the lovely ensemble, her waist was through a leg hole of her underwear. Lord help me, she went to the market & library like that. All she was missing were the snow boots, red juice mustache and mullet.

Yep, the minute Scott goes back to work, I'm asking to be cut back to part time - if not, my kids will be scarred for life.

In Scott's defense, he is a hard worker, good provider & decent guy - he's just a lousy wife.

two posts in one day - that's a record

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 15:54:00 +0000

Allie has been trying to grow her bangs out (her idea) & we've given it our best shot. But seriously, the hair in the eyes drove me CRAZY. We must own every hair accessory ever mass produced - but a barrette would last all of about five minutes and then would be dropped onto the floor or stuffed in between a couch cushion. What grated my nerves the most is that I'm working full time for the next few months & Scott has been a stay-at-home dad all summer while he's recovering from a knee injury & surgery and needless to say, he isn't much of a hairstylist. Bad enough her outfits didn't always match when he'd be out on the town doing errands or to the park, but her hair was always hanging in her face. I had had enough - out with the scissors and back with the bangs. Ahhhh, much better. Love that sweet face!

Wow, long time, no post

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:45:00 +0000

The kids made mini marshmallow shooters out of pvc piping - so much fun.

I've turned into such a lousy blogger. Life has been a crazy-busy lately, and the thought of sitting down and putting my thoughts on the keyboard just hasn't fit into my days.

We've been able to sneak in a few mini vacations this summer - a few weekends to the beach a camping weekend and have another beach weekend planned and a long weekend planned to visit New Jersey & New York (at which time we'll have the pleasure to visit with this cool Momma, who I wish lived closer) to celebrate Allie's 3rd Gotcha Day reunion (at which time we'll be celebrating with this cool Momma).

Just a little snippet about our camping trip to a nearby campground - my friend referred to as a staycation (the new 'buzz' word for the summer of high gas prices, I guess). My grandparents had always had a camper and I have not been to a campground since I was little, but I remember LOVING camping as a kid. For years, Scott & I (mostly me) have wanted a camper, so this was our little test of our camper-ability. I'm not the grab-the- tent, bug-spray and sleeping-bags camper, nope I'm the pack-the-dvd's-in-case-it-rains, bring-a-blanket-for-the-BED and air-conditioned-quarters camper. Maybe some may not refer to this kind of modern amenities 'really' camping, but it's the only kind of camping I'm willing to do. I'm not that girl who is willing to pee next to the tree, next to the tent in the middle of the night. Nor am I the girl to hike the shower goods down the lane to shower while wearing flip flops. That's not a vacation to me - that's a pain in the butt.

OK, so back to our camper-ability. We had a GREAT time, and in fact, are going back next year for a whole week. SO.MUCH.FUN. The kids were sad when we left. There were activities to do all day for the kids/family (hayrides, crafts, races, scavenger hunts, games, etc.), a water park, pool, shuffle board, arcade & much more. One night we watched a movie in the park, which the kids thought was cool. At night we lit the fire pit & of course, made s'mores. Can't wait to go again next year. Maybe in a few years, we'll be towing a camper there (once with a/c and a bathroom).

As for the no-so-fun parts about our camping trip..... Well, Scott was in charge of packing, since I was ferociously studying for the boards. He gets an 'A' for effort, but let's just say, he's not the best packer. As for bedding, yeah, well he packed several sleeping bags and one king-sized fitted sheet. So my sleeping arrangement was on the bottom bunk (full-sized-bed) with Allison on top of a spread-out sleeping bag and a fitted sheet as our blanket. Loved the fitted sheet, yep, like sleeping under a giant shower cap. Oiy. And then there was the clothes. On our first morning there I went to dress the little lady and asked the hubster where her clothes were ** deer-in-the-headlights look. No clothes for Allie. But low and behold, the little man had enough clothes for two weeks (?) so Allie wore Brent's shirts for the rest of the trip. She thought it was cool & called Brent's shirts her dresses, so all was well. Needless to say, I've resumed my role as luggage packer, hmmmmm, who's the smart one here.

Hip Hip HOORAY

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:19:00 +0000

I found out today that I passed my boards! What a flipping RELIEF! I get to check back into life and move on.

My 'official' orientation for work starts Monday & how wonderful it will be to have Tammy *......*, RN on my badge.

Cute things kids say...

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 18:48:00 +0000

The other day Allie was wading in her baby pool when her little friend started asking about her adoption and "where she was from" - Allie decided to answer the questions herself by saying "I'm only from China, right now I'm in the pool silly." She continued to go about her splashing. God, I love her.

Book Give-a-way

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:42:00 +0000

Jump on over to Books on the Brain and enter your name for a book give-a-way - and while you're there check out some of her great book reviews, you may just find one to put on your TBR list.

Wordless Wednesday (my first)

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:13:00 +0000

Summertime fun

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 12:08:00 +0000

OK, I need to redeem myself & kiddoes from the previous grumpy post - PMS and kids that were picking at each other led up to that one. I've been sporting my cruise director hat & keeping the turkeys busy. So fun.

School's out...not sure how I feel about that

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:20:00 +0000

The little man's school ended last Friday & although I'm glad to have more freedom from the crazy scheduling (since baseball season ended too), it now time for me to be creative & come up with things to do with the kiddoes. If they don't have something to occupy their time, they pick at each other & then I find myself playing referee (and that job sucks) - or they'll stare at the television with that glazed look on their face as their brains are being sucked out of their heads.

It's not easy coming up with things to do everyday - we have a few short trips to the shore and to a campground scheduled, but my creativitiy only goes so far. Allie goes to her preschool/daycare two days per week through the summer, which is good for her & lets her see her friends.

Brent has friends in the neighborhood his age, but there are only two little girls Allie's age in our neighborhood & one, well let me say, has some attitude issues that Allie likes to imitate whenever they play together - the other one is the daughter of the very large Christian home-schooling family behind us & we kind of keep our distance from them (that's a whole post in itself). So there's the poor little lady telling me she doesn't have anyone to play with whenever she sees Brent with his buds. Or, if Brent's friends aren't around I have him telling me he's "bored" and the two of them picking - UGH. I've hosted some play dates here for the lady recently, but I'm not doing that every day.

So here I am, trying to think of activities to do or who we can call to come over - while trying to avoid carting them all over creation to fill their days - not only because of ridiculous gas prices, it's not environmentally friendly either.

We have toys, bikes, bubbles, trampoline, swingset, balls, basketball hoops and countless other things to play with - and they claim that they're bored. The carnival can't come to town everyday. What ever happened to just running through the sprinkler? (well, they do love the sprinkler, but only if they have other friends here to do it with them - oiy)

OK, enough complaining - I need put my cruise director hat on & find these turkeys something to do today....

First day on the job tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 19:24:00 +0000

Tomorrow I start my new job - I chose to do some shadowing hours (aka: following a nurse on my unit like a puppy) prior to orientation in July. I'm nervous, and I'm usually not nervous in new situations but it's been sooooo long since I've worked. Yes, I know parenting is "work" but not in the same sense. I have recently had my feet wet with school, but this is different - I'm an EMPLOYEE. Seems so weird. It feels like the first day in a new school as a kid.....I hope they're nice. I hope I have someone to sit with in the cafeteria. :0)

At least I don't have to worry about what I'm going to wear. Scrubs rock!

bittersweet

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Fri, 30 May 2008 19:34:00 +0000

Last Friday was my graduation day (as I mentioned in the previous post). It was such a proud moment for me, as I fiddled my way through college many years ago and never finished. Nor did I ever pick a major, I was pursuing a bachelor's in Liberal Studies (could that be any more generic?) because I didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up. But that's a whole different post.

So back to the proud moment - I was up on the stage feeling a sense of accomplishment (sporting my "Marcus Welby" outfit - ha! ha! J.) and I heard Allison SHOUT out (stressing the shout here) "HI MOMMY!" - then as we were leaving the stage I see Brent waiting in the isle with a dozen roses and he says "YEAH, I GOT MY MOM BACK!" Ouch! There it was, big as life, what it took for me to be there - pushing my kids aside as I had to study, write papers, read or fly out the door to another clinical day/experience. My family was really strained over these past few years. The guilt of being so checked out nearly killed me. I HATED telling my daughter, "No, I can't read another book to you, I have to study" or saying to my son, "Sorry I can't come help out in your school" or "I can't play a game with you, I have a paper to write". Not to mention telling the hubster "No, I'm not in the mood" All. The. Time. (OK, TMI)

God, I'm so flipping glad it's OVER. Now, I get to go to work and come home. That's it. No crap hanging over my head that's due the next day. No tests, papers or last minute bull crap to hand in and be graded. Hallelujah!

BTW, I'll always remember seeing my kids cheer for me - brings tears to my eyes just thinking about their sweet little faces out in the crowd.

Referral day, three years later....

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Mon, 26 May 2008 15:55:00 +0000

Well, I'm a little late with this posting, but for good reason. Friday, May 23rd marked the three year anniversary of receiving Allison's referral (And was my graduation day from nursing school).

I LOVE to reflect back on that day to remember the excitement that is just indescribable and only understood by other a-parents who have experienced the joy of Referral Day. I also like to think of how much our lives have been made richer because of Allison. She has taught us so much with her little princess-tomboy personality (a girl who digs for worms sporting a tiara). She is so cool. How did we get so lucky?

And yeah, don't make fun of me in the dorky nurse cap & outfit - no, I didn't lose a bet, it's tradition.

So terribly sad

noreply@blogger.com (Tammy) — Thu, 22 May 2008 10:41:00 +0000

I read this on an adoption board today. My heart aches for this family. So sad.